Breakthroughs

Over halfway through my spending fast, and I reached the depressing hump of negativity. I've caught myself pouting as I drive past favorite restaurants, discontent with my possessions and wanting what's new, and being tempted to browse through Target for something other than necessary food or toiletries. Two words: no good.

I've had a bad attitude, focusing on what I can't have. Ridiculous, right? But it's true. I'm more than a little spoiled.

Slowly but surely, though, I've been seeing spiritual breakthroughs. For instance, during a recent meeting with other church leaders (where I tend to stay quiet), I found myself speaking up continuously. I was passionate about the topic (spiritual formation), and I just couldn't hold back. Plus, I had a clarity that I don't normally have in those busy, loud meetings.

 

A few days later I found myself really focused on my devotional reading, chewing on the information. In fact, I doubled the amount of time I normally spend on an entry because I wanted to keep thinking it through. (I don't think it was a coincidence that the devotional was on desire.)

I'm also finding that I'm more in tune with my body—specifically, knowing when I need rest. As an introvert, I tend to run myself down as I pretend to be outgoing and bubbly all the time. With this new awareness, I've been able to take time to slow down and rest. I've been reading more, and doing individual activities like sewing. Plus, additional rest gives me more energy to give others when I am with them.

I'm appreciating food more, too. Simple meals are ok with me, and we're having more of them. Plus, my parents took us out for dinner this weekend, and I absolutely savored my food. And I saved some to create two more meals. Restaurant food was such a treat!

I'm still not through this fast, but I think I've made it to the other side of depressing. And that's a breakthrough in my book.